A Real Marriage

I hurt my knee. As if that's not bad enough, because I hurt my knee, I've had one million appointments in the last week and a half to fix my knee. On top of that, someone at the motel got done which leaves TONS of shifts that need to be filled. Oh, also, school started this week....so like, not just school school,as in high school and middle school for 3 of the kiddos, but, also, I dropped off my 18 year old baby girl at COLLEGE.

Not only is my knee hurt....not only am I traveling all over my county for medical appointments...not only am I covering shifts for the person who quit.....I am an absolute emotional wreck this week, because my little, baby Bella is at college and I feel like I've thrown her to the wolves! I don't understand how she is gonna manage life without ME....her mom?! AND because I hurt my freakin' knee, I've already had to turn back 3 weeks worth of college soccer games that I was supposed to referee. Now, I'm faced with the possibility that it's not just a minor knee injury. ARGH!!! Jesus come quickly.......

So, I walk into my house after a long and irritating day of driving, appointments, contemplating if it's crazy or not to just move into the dorm for the year, figuring out how to fill in all the days that need to be filled in at the motel and I get smacked in the face with the most delicious scent, wafting right up my nostrils. Garlic, spices, olive oil, and chicken.....it's the CROCK POT! You guys, my husband put garlic, spices, olive oil and chicken in the crockpot BEFORE he left to coach soccer. I walked into heaven. Dinner was already taken care of.

Well, because I am that emotional wreck this particular week, I started crying. These were tears of thankfulness and joy. I am so blessed and lucky to be married to the man that I am married to. Dinner in the crock pot may seem trivial to some but to me it's everything that I need in my husband. He is truly my life partner, my best friend. I didn't always have a husband who supported me. I wasn't always someone's life partner. I didn't always have a marriage that worked well. Today, I am married to a man who wants to walk beside me not in front of me. He supports me in everything I do. It feels so good to know that someone has my back, too. It feels wonderful to know I have someone in my life who is so considerate. I feel loved and cared for because my husband actually loves me well, in words and action. He pushes me to succeed with his constant encouragement and help in my busy life.

Over the last year or so I've been doing a lot of research on egalitarians versus complementarians. If you didn't grow up in a conservative, Christian church this won't make any sense to you. In a nutshell, egalitarians believe in gender equality and don't believe that women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands or any man, for that matter. (kind of a no brainer, I know!) Complementarians (my first marriage) believe that a woman is supposed to be submissive to their husbands, also, women can never teach a man in church because that's not a woman's role. (again, this sounds crazy right?) This is how I grew up and what I believed for a long time. I won't take the time to argue or debate over this because honestly, when you read the Bible verses that people use for complementarianism in it's correct historical context you cannot even argue that it's still valid. You have to study it for yourself and make sure you look at The Junia Project in your research. Anyways.....I'm off topic.....

I am married to an amazing man who loves me, supports me, and helps me! I try to do the same for him. If we have a decision to make and we disagree he doesn't make the final decision because I'm supposed to be submissive....he and I talk and work it out until we agree or until one of us compromises. This is called communication. It's a healthy relationship! He doesn't get the final say on anything and neither do I. He helps around the house and he cooks! He doesn't ever expect me to have dinner ready or even have the laundry done. I can't even describe how much less stressful being a wife feels when there are no unrealistic expectations placed on you because you have a vagina. I'm being serious. Think about it for a second. Women are often expected to be the cooks and house cleaners because they are women. That's the only reason.

Imagine a world where a woman and a man work together to keep the house clean, (or pay someone to help them keep their home clean :-P ) where a husband and a wife cook dinner together while talking about their day or even take turns cooking dinners on busy nights. What about if the spouse just orders pizza when it's been a crazy day and neither wants to cook?! I am so incredibly blessed and so grateful to be married to a man who is my life partner. I don't know what I did to deserve him but I love being his wife. I feel like I am in a real marriage, a true picture of what Love is supposed to feel like.

My knee still hurts, I need to hire another employee and I am trying to figure out why God gave us children just so we could raise them and watch them LEAVE. But, I am supported and loved by an amazing man. I am rich in marriage, a real marriage.

Lee'Ann and her husband, Andrew, live in Maine. They have 6 kiddos, blended together. They love Jesus, are trying to plant a church in a dry and weary land, run a business together and love everything about soccer!

marriage.